For those who may not know, in October 2009 my husband Frank (Ken) had a stroke. He was our primary source of income. Thankfully his former employer has a disability insurance policy in place for their employees that has been there to help provide.
Sadly, yesterday we received a notice that on August 26, 2010 we will receive our last payment. You can only imagine our reaction. We were in complete shock and fear. My first reaction was to begin questioning God. The "whys" flooded my mind and fear gripped my heart. I sat quietly at my computer and cried. I searched my heart and asked Father God if there could be sin in our lives that caused this season of struggle. I began to question His love for us. As I sat crying before God, there was no response. By faith, I posted a funny but truthful status on my Facebook wall. I needed to let it out somehow without actually sharing my "real" status. Gosh...can you imagine what Facebook would be like if we really did that?
Well, I woke up at 5:30 a.m. today and sat staring at the television, only half listening to it, when the Holy Spirit began speaking to my heart and He said "Don't feel sorry for yourself and do not allow anyone else to feel sorry for you. Rejoice my daughter because what I am about to do is far greater than you could ever imagine. Stop giving away what I have given you to do. Stop saying in your heart that you are not capable. If I have called you to do it than you are more than able. You don't trust me enough...it is time to trust me again."
I did the only thing I know to do when God speaks so clearly to me...write it down in my journal. It was at that moment was when I realized that, yes we need prayer for provision and we need the finances to turn around, but even more than that we need our faith to stand. So, when you read my blog, please don't feel sorry for us...pray for us. Yes...please pray for provision, but more than that, please pray for our faith to stand. Pray for us as our own doubt attempts to consume us. Pray that our faith will stand and fear will not over take us through this trial.
God bless you and keep you in all you do for Him. May He shine His face upon you and yours today and always.